FEAR OF WHAT

Fear – planting a seed of fear in a person’s life 

– or my own – is like purposely sticking myself with a pin. Someday, tomorrow, one year, five years from now, that pin prick will be festering mess. How do I live from day to day when there is a constant nagging fear in the back of my brain? Am I going to die? Am I going to fail? Am I going to be in trouble? Am I? Are you? When do I stop the fear, and really start to live my life? When does the fear evaporate and I start making choices, not my fear.

Worrying about tomorrow and the fears I face is a real conundrum. It starts when we are young. What outfit should I wear? Will so and so notice me? Will I be made fun of? What if I’m not on trend? Move on. Oh how I wish I could tell the younger me that IT DOESN’T MATTER! Wouldn’t that be great? So then you get your first job. What if I’m late? What if I get lost? What if I can’t do the work assigned? You learn, you make mistakes, and again….you move on. Fast forward à marriage, kids, bills, illness, wars, deaths…fear, worry, disarray. It’s not what should rule my life.

 Pause for a minute – I am here today, me; a woman, a wife, a mother…. Fighting those mom wars that really are quite ridiculous. (hello social media!) And yes, I am guilty of judging…but I am working on that. We should be sharing advice (taken with a grain of salt), swapping hand-me-downs, creating relationships with one another, and learning from each other. Worrying about organic baby food or brand name diapers, whether I take my kid to fast food restaurants or give them leafy greens at snack time; whether my child has an electronic device or not; it really does not matter. This generation is setting the next one up for a lifetime of fear & worries. And my heart aches for that.

So along with that, the Government along with the media – ya know, the Experts – really step it up a notch and dictate what, when, where, and how we should live, play, and learn. Give it up. I know there are rules & laws to follow….and I will follow them. I am just really tired of being pushed to change everything that I believe in. My beliefs will be with me until the end of my time. I will not be shaken (Psalm 16:8). I am not perfect.

Sara Denyer

January 24, 2014 – 2:02 p.m.